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Elfenbein, Mark
(elf' ən bin) , n. Current keeper of the nine to eleven Sunday slot. Recently sent Leonard Nimoy in search of his erstwhile partner, Steve Shapiro. Also -- Bottle Rockets
(än' tú räzh) , n. A group of spares, like a herd of cattle. Also see -- Spare.
(ep-i-tōm') , n. Common meaning, uncommon pronunciation. Possibly the most infamous of Greggo's malapropisms.
(ek spo') , n. Kevin Fox. Young, defiant and not-near-as -power-drunk- as-Cat, board operator for the HardLine. Called a "young Fred Norris." The nickname is derived from his mathmatical background. Short for "the exponential intern." Also see -- Mild Jewish Plaiddie.


Failed Bit Watch/Warning
(fāld bit wäch/wȯr-niŋ) , n. A condition issued by one of the major weather forecasting bodies predicting the onset of a failed bit. Came into prominence during the regular running of the "Mailbag" feature on the HardLine.
(fal-kən) n. The Ticket's traffic helicopter gunship. Usually piloted by Gordon Keith. Which may be why it tends to crash quite a bit.
Followill, Mark
(fä-(ˌ)lō-wəl) , n. Blonde-haired, blue-eyed devil and advocate of anything radically Right-Wing. Ticker Field Marshall for the Hardline, host for the Throwdown and netminder for the Team HardLine hockey team. Also see -- Raging Sexual Fury.
Feedback, foldback, flashback, on-your-back, satellite apparatus
n. A wireless microphone. Named such by Rhyner while vamping during a "Cowboy Wednesday" report given by Gordo. The flashback portion added on at request of Hippie (at that time) in Euless when Rhyner got confused as to what year it was and what station he worked for.
Fernandez, Mike
(fər-ˈnan-ˌdez) :n. Producer for the Gentle Musers. Bears a striking resemblance to a derranged Keebler elf in his Guys' Guide to the Holidays photo. Unofficial nemesis of Sideshow Bob. Also -- Fernando
Flagrante Delecto
(fləˈ-grănti di-ˈlik-(ˌ)tō ) v. In the words of the Old Gray Wolf, screwing. Usually with someone you're not supposed to be screwing with.


Geezer, The
(gē-zər) n. Rick Arnett as dubbed by Rocco Pendola.
Gentle Musers
(jen-təl myü-zərz) n. George Dunham and Craig Miller. Keepers of the five-thirty to ten mornings slot. Considered exeedingly sexy by one Holly Mullen.
Gilbert, Bruce
(gil-bərt) n. The latest and greatest program director for the Little Ticket. Also MVP of the Team HardLine hockey team whose Northern-honed skills carried the team during the Charity Challenge.
(jör'-jē-ō) n. George Dunham. Also -- Magical Mystical One.
Glorified Flag Football Player
(ˈglȯr-ə-ˌfīd flag fu̇t-ˌbȯl plā-ər) , n. Deion Sanders.
Gonorrhea of Sports, The
(gä-nə-ˈrē-ə) , adj. According to Mike Rhyner, NASCAR racing.
Goofy Deer
(gü-fē dir) , n. Name given to Gordon Keith by Chief Wahoo.
Got it goin' on
(ˈgät it gō'-in ȯn) , n. Originally, the catch phrase for the Texas Ranger's only championship season (1996). Now, generically used for anything of merit.
Great Gordo, The
(grāt gȯr-(ˌ)dō) , n. See Keith, Gordon.
Great Game, The
(grāt gām) , n. One word: Baseball.
Greatness, The
(grāt'-nes) , adj. In most sport circles, a reference to the Oakland Raiders. From 3 to 7 PM on the Ticket, refers to former Cowboys' coach, Jimmy Johnson.


Halcyon Days
(ˈhal-sē-ən dāz) , adj. The good old days. Happy times. Back in the halcyon days when the Greatness that is Jimmy was here.
(ham'-bō-nēta) , n. See Williams, Greg.
(ha-mər) , n. Nickname won by Greg Williams from Greg "The Hammer" Valentine in a, best two out of three falls, Wise County Speed Lab Cage match. Name actually given to him by Randy Galloway for, so far, unrevealed reasons.
HardLine, The
(härd-ˈlīn) , n. Mike Rhyner and Greg Williams. Keepers of the three to seven weekdays "Afternoon Drive" slot, which they handily dominate. The name itself was derived from the Terrence Trent D'Arby album The Hardline According to Terrence Trent D'Arby.
HardLine Salute
n. A gesture made with the hand to show identification with the HardLine. Think of it this way: Three down lineman with the linebacker coming up into the gap . . . The Bird. You're shooting someone the Bird, O.K.?!?
n. New name for the unofficial HardLine web page. Also -- Virtual Rigidity.
Heave to
(hēv' tü) , v. To stop a ship especially by bringing its head into the wind and trimming the sails so they act against one another.
Hemmingways, The
(he-miŋ-ˌwāz) , n. Former band of the Great Gordo.
Herd of Georgios
n. Simulating a large number of cattle using the trademark, barritone "yeah" of George Dunham. Can be used as a highly effective whip.
Hicks, Richard (Dick)
(hiks) , n. See -- Phillips, Rich.
(haɪ tōnd) :n. Exemplary. Proper or with a sense of decorum. A rare occurance on the Ticket.
Higher Authority
('haɪər ə-ˈthär-ə-tē) , n. Chuck Cooperstein, as dubbed by Mike Rhyner, due to his vast knowledge.
Hockey nicknames
Names given to NHL hockey teams by Mike Rhyner. Though he has said that he won't use part of the teams name for the nickname, there are several instances of such.
Anaheim Mighty Ducks -- Web Florida Panthers -- Pan Phoenix Coyotes -- Canine
Boston Bruins -- Hub Los Angeles Kings -- Crown Pittsburgh Penguins -- Pen
Buffalo Sabres -- Terrible Smith Sword Montreal Canadiens -- The Bleu, Blanc et Rouge St Louis Blues -- Note
Calgary Flames -- Fire Nashville Predators -- Fang San Jose Sharks -- Fin
Carolina Hurricanes -- Storm New Jersey Devils -- Satan Tampa Bay Lightning -- Ning
Chicago Blackhawks -- Chief New York Islanders -- I Toronto Maple Leafs -- Foliage
Colorado Avalanche -- Lanche New York Rangers -- Blueshirt Vancouver Canucks -- Nuck
Detroit Red Wings -- Wing Ottawa Senators -- Nat Washington Capitols -- Dome
Edmonton Oilers -- Crude Philadelphia Flyers -- Fly
Holly Wood
(ˈhä-lē-ˌwu̇d) , n. Mike Rhyner. The name that Rhyner had signed on an old Neon Glow Boys promo pic.
(hüp'-tē) , n. A broken down old car. A jalopy. This word added at the request of one Julia Price.
Hot Sports Opinion
(ˈhät spȯrt ə-ˈpin-yən) , n. A take on sports that doesn't suck. Valued commodity among Ticketheads and Ticket Chicks. Also -- HSO